September 28th, 2004
|10:45 pm - how will i ever know you enough to love you if youre hiding who you are|
been awhile since i updated. things have been pretty swell. everything at school is good now i really like the people that are around me now that werent this time last year it makes getting through the day that much easier. i turn 15 in a few hours and im not sure why im looking so forward to that. i guess i just want to distance myself from the past as much as possible. im in love with wilco and my new ipod. its cool to have all my music with me at all times so i can listen to shit i dont listen to as much like the beta band and brian eno. one thing that would be cool though is if i could happy. whenever im in a good mood im just hopeful i think theres a difference. instead of basking in a moment of happiness im always looking ahead and hoping for things to get even better. i want this to be a good year
and since im such a music fag heres my top 5 albums of the year
1. WILCO - A Ghost Is Born <--- this album is godly and almost as good as yhf in my opinion. hummingbird is one of their best songs
2. Modest Mouse - Good News for People Who Love Bad News if your too pretentious to like this album becuase its popular i feel sorry for you
3. Of Montreal - Satanic Panic in the Attic kevin barnes is god and its bullshit that lilyana saw them and i didnt. completely and utter bullshit
4. Magnetic Fields - I gay guy with a deep voice singing about his boyfriend. hellz yeah
5. Jens Lekman - When I said i Wanted To Be Your Dog an amazingly funny combination of belle and sebastian, jonathan richman, and morrissey
Honorable Mention: Elf Power - Walking With The Beggar Boys
Worst Album: hmmm its a toss up between the hanson cd and the my chemical romance cd. justine must be shooting up alot of really bad heroin to be able to listen to both.
Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: neutral milk hotel - two headed boy
September 16th, 2004
|06:32 pm - you better hope to god you never see me again|
quite a good rosh hashanah. jason came over last night and we partied till the break of dawn. i woke up went to lunch with tommy and bought 2 cds. nick drake - made to love magic and wilco - a ghost is born. i hid in the trunk and we picked up alec. he was fucking hilarious ill quote him on the funnier shit.
"sam is a fat little shits"
"ron didnt give me any money that fuck!"
"what the fuck would i want a toasted cookie for? im done with that sweet carbs shit...QUIZNOS NOW"
he realized someone was in the trunk so he pulled the tarp off of me and i said hi holding a sausage in my hand. amazing day. on another note i guess things do grow apart
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: nick drake - thoughts of mary jane (alternate version)
September 15th, 2004
|06:50 pm - my stepfather looks just like david bowie but he hates david bowie|
schools getting better. my bloody valentine is the shit. heres a gay survey thing
do you have a quick temper?: hellz yeah but i can be calm most the time
what do you do when you're mad?: i punch the wall when im mad enough.
what's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?: umm punched a deep hole in my poor wall
if you can take back time, would you have never done this?: yes my hand really hurt
ever made anyone cry when you were mad?: yeah
ever physically hurt someone when you were mad?: no
do you curse when you're mad?: yep
when was the last time you really cried your heart out?: a little more than 2 years ago
ever cried yourself to sleep?: same as above
ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: not really unless im watching a romantic movie with joe
ever cried over the opposite sex?: actually...no but i would have alot if i could cry
do you cry when you get an injury?: nope
do certain songs make you cry? yet again, no. although certains songs make me quite depressed
can you make yourself cry?: not unless i think about how horrible it is that john ritter died.
what's the hardest thing you've ever had to go through?: my dads accident, end of 8th grade
what's the worst thing you've done to yourself?: mixing and blacking out at als.
what's the worst thing you've done to somebody else?: make someone cry.
ever had a painful break up?: noperoo
what about the old 'pain for pleasure'?: is that a sum 41 reference?
how depressed can you get?: very very depressed. to the point where i feel physically sick.
do you inflict pain on yourself?: if you count tolerating hanson in the car with abby than yes.
are you normally a happy person?: kind of
what can make you happy?: built to spill, and the people i care about
do you wish you were happier?: i guess so
what makes you the happiest?: yet again being with people i care about and getting that feeling you get when you write something you really love
is being happy overrated?: ...
what about being with your friends, does that make you happy?: der
can music make you happy?: yeah
how many times have you had your heart broken?: twice.
have you ever loved someone so much, that you'd die for them?: yes and i say that sincerely
did you ever love a guy/girl, tell them that, and only got 'thanks' as a reply?: not quite.
have you ever fallen for a friend?: yeah it sucks.
ever loved someone so much, it hurt and made you cry?: hurting yes.
has anyone besides your friends and family ever said 'i love you' to you?: yeah
ever been in love?: without a doubt yes
ever stopped a relationship because they didn't say 'i love you'?: haha never been given the oppurtunity
who do you actually hate?: jews
ever made a hit list?: im afraid not but i did want to be in the mafia when i was younger
have you ever been on a hit list?: definetly.
are you a mean bully?: uh maybe i was at one point
what kind of people do you hate?: people who are dicks but believe theyre good christians. people that listen to shitty music.
do you hate any one that breaks your heart?: nah its not their fault.
do you hate George Bush?: nah hes horrible but i dont hate him with a passion.
is your self-esteem extremely low?: yeah
do you believe in yourself?: yeah
do you think you're pretty? only when i dress up like a cowboy
ever wanted to kill yourself because you thought you weren't good enough?: no
are you happy with who you are?: yes
do you wish you can be someone else?: not really. although itd be cool to be jim o rourke.
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: the sleepy jackson - good dancers
September 6th, 2004
good past couple of days. i came to some realizations and what not. justines birthday party was funny jeff came. me joe abby and jeff went to a diner after for like an hour and a half that was hot. yeah i havent slept im not sure why. by popular demand of course here are my top 5 favorite songs of the moment.
gastr del sol - black horse
cake - satan is my motor
the zombies - shes not there remixed by malcolm mclaren
neu! - super
prince - i would die 4 u
i wonder if anybody reads this anymore.
Current Mood: melancholy
Current Music: the flaming lips - race for the prize
August 15th, 2004